Pimp Preacher Satire Essays

On September 22, 2010 one day after Attorney B.J. Bernstein made the announcement that she was in fact representing 5 men in a sexual coercion lawsuit against Bishop Eddie Long, I created PimpPreacher.com.

This website serves as an archive of preachers we consider to be either False Prophets, or direct threats to the Body of Christ. PimpPreacher.com is also the first line of defense against Predatory Tithing Doctrines - and a Tithing Elimination Resource Center for Believers in our Lord Jesus Christ.

The reason the site was created was to serve as the first voice of outrage against Church Leaders who represented the worst of the Body of Christ. All of the contributors to PimpPreacher.com are Believers in Jesus Christ.

At PimpPreacher.com we do not Accept Donations or financial contributions.

The second reason PimpPreacher.com / Church Folk Revolution was created was because we found it extremely difficult to get Pastors to speak out against other Pastors in the area of Excessive Giving, Lavish Lifestyles financed with church donations, Pastor Sex Scandals involving members, Pastors arrested for Molestation, Pastors arrested for Rape, False Doctrines designed to extort believers, and the merchandising of Jesus Christ. Since 2010 The Church Folk Revolution / PimpPreacher.com has come under a large amount of both criticism and compliments for its methods in dealing with Pastors who are unfit for service.

What We Believe?

1. Jesus is Lord

2. No one is entitled to a pay check for preaching the Gospel.

3. The standard of Church Leadership that was set forward in the Holy Bible: 1 Timothy 3 King James Version (KJV) 3 This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

What Triggers A Response From PimpPreacher.com?

Many of our cover stories come to us via members from the actual congregations. We never go out searching for stories to cover in order to keep updated content on the site nor do we have to due to the large number of Pimp Preacher Reports we receive.

The preachers do all the work for us – literally. Every time a preacher has impregnated a member of his congregation, we are likely to respond to that offense. Every time a preacher embezzles all of the money out of the church accounts for his own personal gain, we are likely to respond to that.

Every time a Pastor has twisted the gospel and presented it just to receive a return of cash, and not souls for Christ, we are likely to respond.

The reason we have chosen to respond to these and many other offenses within the Body of Christ is because Pastors have refused to Police themselves. Even when presented with clear evidence that another Pastor has violated a member of the Body of Christ, the Fraternal Brotherhood of Pastors refuse to get involved. We respond in the manner that we do because if we don’t, then it has been proven that no one will. No one within church leadership will stand up for those who occupy the pews, because preachers belong to an un-secret society called The Clergy.

Clergy members throughout history have always protected and guarded their own whether wrong or right, unfortunately for them that day has come to an end.

The Revolution Is Now Being Televised

Due to a lot of hard work and original content Google has just awarded PimpPreacher.com with one of the highest page rankings in our category, a page ranking that we utilize with a great deal of humility. For starters we never get into rumors or cover topics related to the family members of Pastors (unless the wife is the Co-Pastor or unless the pastor has committed some injustice against a family member).

We make every effort to never mention the names of the children of Pastors, because our focus remains on the person designated to preach the gospel.

Our goal is to always subscribe to the highest standards in reporting and commentary in both our print, and radio broadcasting outlets. Such attention to Journalistic Integrity has resulted in several of our reports landing in national syndication, and distribution in the Associated Press.

Recently our activism & reporting on the events surrounding Morning Star Baptist Church in Charlotte not only was covered by the Charlotte Observer, but also all three major television outlets in the city of Charlotte, as well as NBC National News. Our Church Revolution Radio Network is now reaching thousands of listeners per day as a result of our vast growing archive database.

Our most popular radio show remains Real Talk Radio with Elgin & Twins which to date has over 50,000 archive listens, accomplished with no commercials or sponsors. Church Folk Revolution YouTube channel continues to deliver thousands of unique visitors per day to our home office – PimpPreacher.com.

Welcome To The Church Folk Revolution

At CFR we don’t recruit members to join our cause- as a matter of fact we do everything possible to keep our numbers to a small core of a passionate few. I always tell people that if you have arrived at the point that you find a wealthy mega church pastor offensive, then you are already a part of the Church Folk Revolution.

At CFR we believe Enough is Enough, and it’s going to take a revolution in the minds of believers in order to break the control pastors have cast over entire congregations. This is the reason we are so relentless on paid preachers, and those who sell the gospel of our Lord. The richest people in the history of ministry never wrote one line of the Holy Scriptures nor should the same group profit off a FREE GOSPEL.

We’re here to remind the Body of Christ that the true meaning of Pastor means Servant – and he should not get served or paid. If all of the wealth of a Pastor comes from donations, then that Pastor is Pimping the Body of Christ. Pastor Pimps will not be tolerated any longer; therefore the purpose of this Revolution is to declare war on the  stagnant wealth in ministries across this country.

By sparking a mental revolution in the minds of those who sit in the pews, we believe that we can redirect the Body of Christ to the vision that Christ originally had for his church.

If what disappoints us also disappoints you, then you are already in our Revolution. If you are no respecter of persons, and feel that the position of Pastor is in immediate need of reform, then you are already a part of this Revolution. If you have concerns for the safety of W.I.C. Women, Infant, and Children within the congregations of these current Churches, then you are already a part of this Revolution.

If you feel the legacy of Jesus Christ has been damaged by the Prosperity Gospel, then it’s definitely time for you to fight side by side with us in this Revolution. We don’t need money - what we are in need of is passionate believers in Our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ who would like to see church become what it was intended to be: A representation of the love of Christ.

Church Folk Revolution - Like Our Facebook Fan Page

Fall in line solider because it is time to march!

Fellow Soldier in New Orleans - TJ

Pastor Refused To Bury 93 Year Old Grand Mother! PimpPreacher.com OUTRAGED!

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